Dream school, nightmare reaction.

“Living with fear stops us from taking risks, and if you don't go out on the branch, you're never going to get the best fruit.” - Sarah Parish

As early as 8th grade, my parents advised me that I needed to do well academically to get admitted into college. First, I got involved in extracurricular activities at school, such as the computer science club and student government. Then, I volunteered in my community at a food donation center. I dedicated myself to studying to accomplish the goals that my parents set for me. 

My parents were pleased with my good behavior and achievements. They wanted me to attend the University of Portland, a private Catholic university. This is because my family is Catholic, with traditional beliefs; therefore, attending a religious college was quite important to them. For me, I was more concerned about academic and research opportunities. 

During the fall of my senior year, I started to apply to colleges. I applied to both public and private schools in Oregon. My parents were eager for me to go to the University of Portland so I could be closer to home. Attending a college nearby was also exciting, but I was curious to explore what other opportunities the world had to offer.

I secretly applied to my dream school. The only ones who knew where else I was applying were those who wrote my recommendation letters. My parents helped me through most of my college applications, and applying to my preferred school without their knowledge seemed wrong. I was terrified about them finding out.

I knew my parents were desperately waiting for an acceptance letter from University of Portland, but I was waiting to hear back from my dream school. In late December, after volunteering one day after school, I got a notification from Stanford University. It was a snowy evening, and I hesitated to open the letter. If I had been rejected, it would have been a depressing drive home. Once I arrived at my house, I ran into my living room, got my computer, and opened the letter. 

I GOT ACCEPTED!!!

My mom was in the living room and saw my excitement. She unknowingly shared my joy and enthusiasm. It wasn't until I told her that the acceptance letter was from Stanford University–not from the University of Portland–that she fully understood. Her smile faded away. The day was meant to be the most joyous occasion of my life, but it turned into a day of pain and sorrow. That night, my parents were mad at me. I felt disappointed in myself because I did not want to follow their plan.

While I understand NOW that I applied without their knowledge, I would be moving farther away, and not attending a religious school…it was their guidance that got me accepted to one of the most prestigious universities in the world. But at the moment, I felt their reaction did not match their advice of studying hard to build a prosperous life. 

After that night, I became depressed and thought that working so hard was no longer worth it. I was thinking that I needed to continue my studies somewhere that would satisfy my parents because, in the end, they were the ones I could truly count on emotionally and financially. 

During the following days, my confidence and excitement about studying faded. By February, I felt the need to confide to a close friend about how I was feeling. She asked me, “What happens when you do something for the satisfaction of others?” Her question made me pause.

About a week later, I got accepted to the University of Portland. I thought about my friends’ question while looking at my acceptance letter. My parents were thrilled and celebrated by cooking me a special dinner.

Suddenly, in March, I received a phone call from another college that nobody knew I applied to. I got accepted into Princeton University and had mixed emotions. I was happy and excited but kept it a secret because I didn’t want my parents to be upset with me again. 

My secret was not kept for too long, as Princeton sent a physical, printed letter, and my parents were furious. My response to their anger pushed me to tell them I had already accepted Stanford University. Unfortunately, this was the way I shared with my parents, the biggest decision of my adult life.

It took some time and effort for us to have a conversation about the future. During my parent teacher conference, my educators made them realize the incredible opportunity I had. In addition to that my parents realized the confidence and courage I developed in making my own decision. 

We soon took a trip to Stanford University before my graduation, and they fell in love with the Memorial Church, where Catholic mass is held. The church's interior is adorned with paintings and stained glass windows depicting religious scenes, saints, and angels. Inspired by the Venetian style, the architectural design is spacious and features five majestic pipe organs. Near the end of the tour, my parents became overjoyed and proud.

I truly believe the only way to achieve your goals is not only by working hard and following your obligations but also by being able to take risks, face your fears, and do what you want most. So, in the end, you can get the “best fruit” from the tree of life.